Well, here we are again, folks—another day, another disastrous attempt to shoehorn woke politics into a beloved franchise, and surprise, surprise: it flopped.
This time, we’re talking about Disney’s latest Star Wars wreckage, The Acolyte. Packed to the gills with “lesbian space witches” and terrible writing, it turns out even the wokest of reviewers couldn’t give it a thumbs-up. And yet, some of the remaining Star Wars die-hards are clinging to the hope that Disney will reverse its decision to cancel the show after one miserable season. Spoiler alert: that’s not happening.
A petition popped up on Change.org, predictably pleading for more of this woke mess, citing the usual talking points about “representation” and “seeing themselves in the universe.” As of now, it’s sitting at about 65,000 signatures. Not bad, considering the media gave it plenty of free promotion to rally the troops. But here’s the kicker: a counter-petition to completely de-canonize the show and erase it from the Star Wars universe is gaining steam even faster—and it didn’t get a single ounce of press.
This counter-petition isn’t just about rejecting the woke agenda (which, let’s face it, is reason enough) but also calls out the show’s downright awful writing, nonsensical character motivations, and the way it trashes Star Wars canon. I mean, making the Chosen One prophecy irrelevant? Really? This isn’t just a bad show—it’s bad fan fiction masquerading as legitimate Star Wars content.
And let’s not forget, this isn’t the first time Disney’s thrown one of its own disasters into the dustbin of history. Remember Willow 2? Of course, you don’t—because it, too, was such a woke, poorly-written train wreck that Disney quietly erased it from memory, pulling it from Disney+ faster than you can say, “Go woke, go broke.”
The reality is clear: there’s no audience for this hyper-political content, and the few that do stick around are more toxic than the fandom they claim to be a part of. Just ask Sydney Watson, who faced a barrage of hate for daring to criticize The Acolyte. She got hit with the usual accusations—racism, sexism, and internalized misogyny—because, apparently, disagreeing with bad writing is now a cardinal sin in the woke religion.
The Acolyte just had its first “they/them” pronoun scene.
In other news, The Acolyte only has a 14% average audience score on Rotten Tomatoes and Disney’s stock is now tanking.
Go woke, go broke. pic.twitter.com/xoE4ZQ9fWW
— Paul A. Szypula (@Bubblebathgirl) June 19, 2024
The bottom line is this: Disney has a choice. They can continue down this path, churning out woke flops that no one watches and that damage the Star Wars brand, or they can finally listen to the fans who have stuck around, even through the dumpster fire that has been their recent output. The message is simple: we’re not here for this garbage, and we won’t pay for it. If Disney wants to salvage its reputation (and its bottom line), it’s time to stop pandering and start creating stories that actually respect the legacy of the universe they’re working with.
So, if you’re tired of seeing franchises like Star Wars get hijacked by political agendas, go sign that counter-petition and let Disney know: we’re not buying what they’re selling. This is how we win the culture war—by hitting them where it hurts: their wallets. Believe me, it works.
