Hillary Clinton just can’t seem to move on, can she? It’s been nearly eight years since she planned that oh-so-grand victory bash under a giant glass ceiling, expecting to shatter it with a shower of confetti as she became the first female president of the United States. But instead of cheers and celebrations, the night ended with her loyal sidekick, John Podesta, stepping in front of a crowd of teary-eyed supporters, telling them to go home. No glass ceiling shattered, no historic night—just a lot of deflated balloons and shattered dreams.
So, what did we get instead? A self-pity tour that would make even the most dramatic reality TV star blush. First came her 2017 memoir, What Happened, where she explained—endlessly—why it wasn’t her fault that she lost to Donald Trump. Her publisher bragged about the book’s “record-breaking” sales, touting that it moved 167,000 copies in its first week. Impressive, right? Well, knowing the Clintons, it wouldn’t be surprising if a chunk of those books ended up sitting in some warehouse, courtesy of generous Democratic donors. Hey, somebody has to keep those numbers up, even if it’s just to save face.
I’m “leaking” Hillary Clinton’s whole book right here for you now…
“What Happened” by Hillary ClintonChapter One
I lost.
The End pic.twitter.com/P33n0C0pNk
— Serenity (@polishprincessh) September 13, 2017
But apparently, one memoir of finger-pointing and regret wasn’t enough. Nope, Hillary has blessed us with yet another book, Something Lost, Something Gained: Lessons on Life, Love, and Liberty. The title suggests wisdom, but the content is just a rehash of old grievances. It’s like she’s still fighting the 2016 election every time she puts pen to paper—or more likely, when her ghostwriters do. She goes on about how she was “right about everything” (of course) and throws in a few more digs at anyone who dared to think she wasn’t the best choice in 2016. It’s as if she still believes that somewhere out there, America owes her an apology.
Clinton even manages to pat herself on the back for “being the first woman to win a presidential primary, the nomination of a major party, and the national popular vote.” But she can’t seem to grasp that none of that actually translates to a victory when it counts—like in the Electoral College, for example. And let’s not forget the part where she wistfully recalls the good old days of flying on Air Force One and mingling with royalty. It’s almost as if she’s forgotten that this is supposed to be a political memoir, not a nostalgia trip through her glory days.
FAIL NOTICE: Hillary Clinton’s latest book, “Something Lost, Something Gained,” DRASTICALLY underperforms, with first-week sales down more than 80 percent compared to her previous memoir. If Kamala’s agenda is so popular, why do their movies and books fail so badly. pic.twitter.com/zuJAWt9oz6
— Bill Mitchell (@mitchellvii) October 10, 2024
Unsurprisingly, her latest attempt to stay relevant is falling flat with readers. Something Lost, Something Gained managed to move just 27,000 copies in its first week, a far cry from the numbers What Happened boasted. That’s less than 20 percent of her “record-breaking” debut back in 2017 when the Resistance crowd was desperate for anything that could soothe their Trump-induced panic. Sure, 27,000 is still a decent number—especially compared to the likes of Taylor Lorenz’s flop, Extremely Online—but the downward trend is clear. It seems like even her die-hard fans have grown weary of reliving 2016 over and over again.
BREAKING: Hillary Clinton’s latest book sees a significant decline in sales, down more than 80% compared to her previous release. pic.twitter.com/Fv6jxXzvt3
— The General (@GeneralMCNews) October 10, 2024
At this point, it’s hard not to wonder when Hillary will finally let it go. But then again, maybe she thinks that if she keeps reminding us how “unfair” it all was, history might eventually rewrite itself in her favor. Sadly for her, and fortunately for the rest of us, history doesn’t work that way. So here we are, still hearing about how everything would have been different if only people had listened to Hillary. But if sales are any indication, the country has moved on, even if she hasn’t.