So, the Washington Post recently published an article meant to make you feel terrible for the poor federal workers who have been let go by the Trump Administration.
Look, many of us have lost our jobs at some point in our lives for one reason or another. It’s something that happens, and you move on.
Never mind the fact that under the Biden admin, 63 million people lost their jobs.
There is now weeping and crying over a locksmith that was fired in Yosemite National Park.
“At California’s Yosemite National Park, the Trump administration fired the only locksmith on staff on Friday. He was the sole employee with the keys and the institutional knowledge needed to rescue visitors from locked restrooms,” the report detailed.
So, let me get this straight…For an area the size of Rhode Island there was ONE person that had keys to the place. Nobody has copies of the keys!?
The only locksmith for an area the size of Rhode Island: pic.twitter.com/S9kd3Vt9Di
— Alec MacGillis (@AlecMacGillis) February 20, 2025
Meanwhile ABC News is reporting on the “shattered and an uncertain future” of fired federal workers.
The bureaucrats are in distress! Someone fetch the world’s tiniest violin because it sounds like Washington, D.C.’s most overpaid and underworked paper pushers are facing the terrifying reality of… the private sector. The horror!
A week after the Trump administration took a metaphorical weed-whacker to the federal government, these former government employees are left reeling, as if they’ve just been personally victimized by the cruel, unfeeling hand of accountability. Elizabeth Aniskevich, formerly of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (cue dramatic music), is aghast that she and 70 others were let go during their probationary period. Now she’s dealing with the unimaginable burden of—wait for it—filing for unemployment, just like millions of private-sector workers have to do every single day.
And, of course, she and her fellow displaced bureaucrats have formed a support group (because nothing says “we’ve been through a tragedy” like a group chat full of ex-regulators). They can’t believe it—no more guaranteed government salaries, no more cushy benefits, no more endless meetings that accomplish absolutely nothing. Just the cold, cruel world where people have to prove their worth in the dreaded private sector.
Katie Butler, another casualty of Trump’s mission to trim the fat, also took the news terribly. She had dreams—dreams, people!—of a long, stable career in government, where she could shuffle papers for decades without any fear of, you know, actual performance evaluations. And now? She’s been forced to consider a law firm job. Imagine that. A lawyer actually practicing law. The injustice!
Then we have Victoria DeLano, who worked in the Education Department’s Office for Civil Rights and is now convinced that without her, students in Alabama will have nowhere to turn. The way she tells it, the Office for Civil Rights was single-handedly holding the fabric of education together, and without her, children will be left in the cold, wandering aimlessly in search of justice. “These students have no one else,” she proclaims. No one! That’s right, folks—before the federal government created her job, civil rights simply didn’t exist.
And then there’s the best part: the utter shock that the Trump administration is actually keeping its promise to cut down the bloated federal workforce. These people never thought it would actually happen! They believed the bureaucracy was untouchable, an immortal beast that would forever grow unchecked. But here we are, watching them scramble to figure out their next move, clutching their pearls and lamenting that they might—gasp—have to work for a city government instead.
Federal work is bawling her eyes out because she was just fired.
Her job was to “assess habitat conservation for species for a 55 year conservation plan.”
In other words, she was a useless drain on our tax dollars. pic.twitter.com/7XEZOb7UsV
— Paul A. Szypula (@Bubblebathgirl) February 19, 2025
But wait—it gets better. Butler has a dire warning: This could take 100 years to rebuild! Oh, the horror! As if dismantling layers of red tape and reducing the size of government is akin to razing a civilization to the ground. Yes, the federal government will never recover from a little right-sizing, just like it totally collapsed after every other attempt to rein in bureaucracy. Oh, wait. It didn’t.
The message here is clear: these folks were shocked to discover that government jobs aren’t an untouchable birthright. And the best part? Regular Americans—the ones who don’t have a golden parachute of taxpayer-funded job security—are watching and laughing. Welcome to the real world, folks. Hope you brought a résumé.
